Goodbye MSN

Heres to the years of days and nights
waiting for the tune "deng deng deng"
Hoping that its your picture to pop up
and then having endless chats and sleepless nights.
Cold yet sweet
Short and precious.
As today these will only be pieces of memories of you and me....
Technology no longer supports that..
Perhaps it is time....

finally out of words.....

was it you who spoke those words
that things things would happen
but not to me
things are gonna happen naturally
taking your advice and
i'm looking on the bright side
and balancing the whole thing

but often times those words
get tangled up in lines
and the bright lights turn to night
until the dawn it brings
another day to sing about the magic
that was you and me

cause you and I both loved
what you and I spoke of
and others just read of
others only read of the love
the love that I love

see I'm all about them words
over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
hundreds of pages , pages , pages for words
more words then I had ever heard
and I feel so alive

cause you and I both loved
what you and I spoke of
and others just read of
and if you could see me now
you and I
not so little you and I anymore
and with the silence
brings a moral story
more importantly evolving is the glory of a boy

cause you and I both love
what you and I spoke of
cause others just read of
and if you could see me now
well I'm almost finally out of
finally
well i'm finally free...

and its okay
if you have to go away
just remember the telephone
well they work in both ways
and if i never ever hear them ring
If nothing else
I'll think the bells inside
have finally found you someone else
that's okay
cause I'll remember everything you say

cause you and I both loved
what you and I spoke of
others just read of
and if you could see me now

well then I'm finally
finally out of words to say


~hearftful lyrics by jason mraz is whats going on in my heart.

six degree of seperation

how true can it be ? 

love the description ;)

Love to the eyes

I am really glad today
I found a little space to linger
A little space where everything seems to be some love to the eyes.
Having to do some, safely,
That I've craved for long .
I feel free.....
Oh , do i love you 'pintrest' ?

Was such an unsual tuesday night
(not that i could remember)
Where satisfaction was derived from doing random things
really random things that i used to love.
And after so much to enjoy for this wee short hours....
I guess ....

Its probably more pleasant
If I could take a bow and leave
gracefully
but before i take that bow
I will give in my best
And after all , i deserve the bow.
My pleasure *curtsey*

Good night lovely-ies,
Dont let the bed bugs bite ;)

A dream with the Wild

Have been in love with reading this book lately.
So little words with many lovely pictures.
I wish I had talents like this to write like him .

Pages brought me to this page.
Do you see the picture of a girl hugging the sheep ?
I really wish that I could be this girl.Imagine having to hug a big , soft, woool-y pillow.
Close your eyes....
Can you feel the fluffiness?
Mmmm.....

They are sheeps after all, I think they wont smell that bad.
Right, this has to go onto my to-do list before I leave - hug a sheep and fall asleep.

Its been a while since I really blog and I miss doing it.
Good night world :)

感恩

感恩此次的因缘让我重整.
让我与更多更多的内心,灵性,能量接触.
让我能听见更多的声音.
让我明白,我不孤独。
希望你也如此 :)

in the name of LOVE ?

what good do you get by doing all of these to me ?
What have i done to you to deserve all these?
I too have never predict all of these to happen
but why are you doing all of it to make it worse in the name of love ?

I dont think i'll ever be done talking about it , its better to keep the ugliest to myself
for i know what was done once will be repeated unless if its stop.
unfortunately the decision was made
I like it the way I am
take it or leave it !

What if soon is never too soon

soon never too soon?

what if soon is just too soon

Are we fools of time , effort and energy ?

for we never know what the future is.

some choose to believe what others have to say

jumping from a thought to another..... popping misery out of it

or is it the curiosity that one have

to see beneath the lid of Pandora's box.

some say the process is what makes it worth

well, whats the point of going through so much

only to know that at the end of the day , its just nothing but attachment ?

shall i let go for a better karmic link?

or is it more sensible to just cling on the journey the ultimate emptiness.

I wonder if a princess ever had thoughts as such... if she does , what will she do ?

volunteer

Often wonders, in life , that what is the true meaning of being a volunteer..

This has been the best answer so far....

reflect upon it !

Somewhere only we know...

To my surprise , this old songs by KEANE has its best to describe my feelings right now ... play it if u wanna know =)

'And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know? '

Time OR Money

Does time = money ?

Now , Choose one . Time or money ?

So, if I were to give you some of my time will you prefer my money?

Again, if I were to give you some of my money will you prefer to have some of my time?

What happens if i used some of your money , can i pay you back with my time ?

Again , if i used some of your time, can i pay you back with my money ?

If the answer is no.

OOOppppssss!!!

I'm just too sorry to say that you've just wasted a few minutes of your life reading this blog post.

AND the thing is, eventhough if i used some your time to read this blog post, I'm still not going to give you any of my money. X)

Because I believe these two are incomparable. =)

Thank you for being part of me

Though unforeseen , you have came into my life for such a short period of time.

Counting down the weeks for you to leave wasnt very easy ,

as you have already been a part of me , why should i let you go?

Mixture of uncertainties to all the reasons but eventually , I decided for the best of the rest of us. For I am the master of this body , I choose for you to leave.

Your presence thought me that its time to love myself more

and to always count the blessings as i go .

You have left a special place in my heart.

Thank you for being part of me =)

the word is ....

This happened on my visit to the dr :

Dr A: so what are you doing now.
Me: I just got my degree , currently looking for my job.

Dr A: oh so what did u studied?
Me : I studied nursing in XXX, I'm a nurse actually.

Shortly after that , another Dr walks in ... Dr A presented the case

Dr B : So , what is she doing now?

Dr A : oh , shes unemployed.

Me :.....

I've been looking for a word to describe what am i doing now.

It used to be "oh, i'm studying nursing in IMU "

Now it its "oh, i just got my degree in nursing , currently looking for a job"

IN SHORT ----> unemployed

So , i guess that the best word to use to describe what am I now.

Does it really matter if I sent my applications late?

Does it really matter if I choose to go for rare options?

Does it really matter if I am a bit different from the rest ?

These are the questions that runs in my mind . Not to forget those unnecessary stimulants that I get from people around me, despite doing all that were necessary.
I guess I'm still not too sure about the reasons for all these to be happening, neither have i found anyone to take the blame. Of dreaming to have a life which i do not have to worry about work, I'm actually living it now, with a lot of stress. In fact, i dont even have a job. I just desperately need a job ( as a nurse)....... please help ....

Found-ed: Prince Charming

This blog post it will be titled "Wanted: Prince Charming" , if it were to be posted 3 months ago. Maybe, with a long list of what I wish to have in MY fairy tale ?

Well, let me tell you that this princess has finally found her prince charming AND is ready to live happily ever after together ....

That doesn't mean that she will never have to work hard for it, both of them will need to.

Thank you for giving me a chance to live in my fairy tale, or should i say , our fairy tale =)

desensitization

went through a series of desensitization

the question is

is this the right thing to do?

or

will it even help?

the experience was not pleasant at all....

If only there were technologies or superpowers that could remove that block of memory out of me.

May I be able to get through everything peacefully......

One to Ten

If you ask me if I love you

on a scale of one to ten, you’d

better be ready for my arbitrary answer,

“Well, what does the ten mean?”

Then I might ask, “What’s the one to me?...

while you’re throwing all these numbers at me.”

At moments a memorial would seem

too meager a recompense to me.

A random, thought provoking inquiry

of your love as it applies to me.

The princess sat upon the very pea

that brought such good fortune to me.

That brought my sweet fortune to me.

When you speak up...must you repeat

what I say metaphysically?

If we only know that we know nothing,

should I ever say what I mean?

So when I ask you if you love me,

must you spill these words upon me?

~ wonderful lyrics by The Mollies

guard harder!

Finally some sort of happy post, i guess.....

Past four weeks of my elective attachment in XXH was like some of the longest days where they creeped by so so so so slooooooowly. With tonnes of other things to focus, I didn't quite enjoy the attachment as I expected it to be. The posting was in O&G, due to lots of limitations. I thought we were just flower pots in the wards looking nice, smiling away to mothers and babies. Other than talking , we were speaking with mothers. True! 4 weeks of talking and smiling. Luckily the staffs were kind enough to babysit us.......

Finally , it had came to an end today.

Big things never comes when you expect it.

Today, today I had my first hand experiences in delivery. Dare not say conducting a delivery, for some of reasons, we are not even allowed to even touch it !(this was an emergency)

Wanna know why? because some individuals thinks that there are more important things to attend to than to attend a woman in labour, then coming in late giving lame reasons according to their previous reasons. Anyway, I was grateful that there were people like that , if its not because of their *ahem* attitude, I might not get the experience today =D

What happened was.....

"wanna do artificial rupture of membrane arr?? "

"yar, bring the kidney dish"

"ok"

brings the kidney dish, and she starts digging into the 8th wonder of the world.

a huge round of pulling , screaming and comforting. pulling , screaming and comforting.

"err, cant la , its ok , just leave it as it is"

"ok"

2 secs after she left

splash!!!!! why so yellowish ??

" membranes already ruptured!!!"

" os already full, be careful"

an enormous round of screaming and pulling, and screaming and pulling

lifts up the gown, huh?? whats that yellow bun doing there, looks closely

"BABY'S HEAD!!! BABY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

grabs the pad and guard, trembles........ . actually it was like just placing the pad under the 8th wonder of the world, pressure???? not so ........

And the wiser one comes in and take over....

was still trembling ..........

baby was all out, crying his lungs out.....

All the above happened in less than 3 minutes, I was still trembling .....

Unfortunately, there was still a second degree tear.

Why ? because everything happened too quickly and it wasn't guarded properly.

The right thing to do was: To guard harder and try to push the head low.

Thankfully, the person who is suppose to do all the above was finally there to repair the damage.

This was the biggest lesson I had for the entire attachment. And it only happened on the last day.....

Lucky me, I didn't had any training for these but I had a feel of it.

Thinking of it sends shiver down my spine.

Well , its time to reconsider on what I've thought all these while, one month wasn't enough to convince me.....

Fears when i Fret

I'm proud to announce my biggest fear now is ....... *drum rolls *

FRET!!!

there is nothing to fear about other than to FRET.

Fret: –verb (used without object), to feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent,

or the like:Fretting about the lost ring isn't going to help.

Yes. See that example from the dictionary, fretting isn't going to help.

But who would help me to stop fretting over things that is almost beyond my control???

I'm still paranoid about the fact that I fret and always have those thoughts blocked. It is actually quite stupid of it. Lately, nervous breakdown seems to be too common. Its easily masked but deeply engraved in the thoughts day by day .

Why am I going through this? Wouldn't it be so much better if I could be less sensitive in life.

Anyone kind enough to give me a break.

just some water

Japan has always been one of the greatest civilizations that I admired.

This little island , packed with people is one of the leading country of Asia's economy and technologies advancement. Today, it was hit by the force of nature with just some water. Whats on the news were terrifying. Some said that its a pirated version of what happened in Indonesia, 2004.

All it takes was just some of the much much water of the earth to wipe, bit by bit , maybe the entire civilization? Of all the effort and ego, no matter how smart human could be. Nature will still take its course. Its time to think about it.

May God bless Japan.

To my one and only

19 years ago, he was born and i'm no longer the only child in the family.

He came and brought along so much laughters, happiness and joy into my life.

He might be a bit disobedient at times , sometimes rebellious, but I believe he is clear of what he wants.

On this blessed day, I wanna wish you a happy 19th birthday !!

you know i love you =)

loving you always,

Che che